Big hair cut and striking it rich!

Last week I gave Houston a big hair cut (well at least on one side- he was QUITE the moving target!). He's usually pretty good about getting his nails cut to sit still but hair cuts are a bit harder. First off, he is a sucker for a good mirror and second, with nail clippers he can see what is going on. Like a dog trying to chase his tail, Houst does not want to take his eyes off the scissors. Just when I think he is content looking in the mirror or playing with something, he will make a sudden jerk of the head to monitor the location of the shiny sharp tool... thus the reason the hair above his right ear is a little white washed. It turned out good enough even with the white wash, I think.
Now... if you would like to continue reading the rest of this post I simply ask you to do the following:

1. Raise your right arm (or place it over your heart- whichever you prefer)
2. and repeat the following:
   

"I (insert your name here), promise not to think Lani is a terrible mother in anyway shape or form, and hereby acknowledge that she is only human and trying to learn the ropes of motherhood. I testify that she loves her little man MORE THAN the air she breathes, chocolate molten lava cakes, and the most miraculous sunset COMBINED!"

You may now continue, and at the risk of never being asked to babysit again, I shall proceed...

Approximately 24 hours later, Michael chivalrously offered to change the code brown that had plagued the aroma of our living room. Houston is a fighter of code browns and often prefers having his diaper changed in the push up position. I waited in the living room to see if this would be one of those times and if I would need to come to assist. Within seconds I heard "Ummm, Lani?" come from my night in shining armor. I was perplexed as there was not the usual urgency in his voice. I entered the room cautiously wondering why I was needed if it was not to restrain the boy trying to showoff his push ups at an in opportune time. Michael's bewildered face further increased my intrigue. He seemed focused on the essence of the code brown. I looked down to behold what great wonder was in store ...
I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was "baby, we are set for life... our child poops diamonds!" No joke! For a half a second that really was what crossed my mind! Next my mind flashed back to the day prior... and focused in on one particular aspect...
Ohhh myyyyy goodness! Had I really allowed that to happen. My mind automatically recalled the exact incident. While cutting his hair I remember he first grabbed one and I pulled it from the mouthward direction and put it back.
A second later I thought I saw him grab one out of the corner of my eye. I quickly looked in his mouth and did a quick pallet sweep to find nothing. I could have SWORN he grabbed one but where could he have stashed it so fast if it was not in his mouth? I must have been seeing things in my effort to give the perfect hair cut... or SO I THOUGHT! I cannot believe that he grabbed it that fast AND SWALLOWED IT even FASTER! But what tops THAT is how easily he... DISPOSED of it 24 hours later. It was one of his easiest poops... no face color change, no yoga poses, no grunting... who knew decoration marbles worked as suppositories! He seemed as happy as ever.

I'm sure this will go down in my learning memories so I had to document it so when Michael teases me in years to come about it, I will remember he is not making it up... I really am that "young in motherhood" (That was my nice way of saying stupid).

Feel free to share with me your "young in motherhood" stories so I don't feel like the only doof! I'd love to hear them.